I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
