He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
