I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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