He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
