At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
