I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize