dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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