I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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