"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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