i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize