we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I wish there were birth control emojis
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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