Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
