I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
