Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
