Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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