i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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