I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
