I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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