Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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