I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
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I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
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Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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