I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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