he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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