OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
