It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
