I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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