Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
