So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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