new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
