Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
