the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize