I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
