**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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