think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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