I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
