you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
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Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize