I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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