So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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