This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
