I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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