Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
