the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
