Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
