I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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