Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
