i barfeds in our rink
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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