I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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