Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Mom said you looked used
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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