Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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