It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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