I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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