I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
