is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize