he thought i was a dude.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
