My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
