I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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