yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
