we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Ketchup is God's man juice
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.