Its about making memories worth repressing
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
