Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.