does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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