the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
