I think I died a long time ago.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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