I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
