lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
