he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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