I'm gonna have a badass scar
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize